Cockfighting. I've become obsessed with this extreme sport. Everytime I see a man's crotch, I automatically want to take off my pants and beat the guy with my ANNIHILATOR. It has become so bad, it's affected my racing abilities. Damn you, cockfighting!!
"Cockfighting!!!"
"Would you shut the fuck up with this cockfighting crap! You're starting to scare the shit outta me!!" proclaimed Holly, who was sitting in the passenger's seat in her Ferrai F355 Spider.
Oh, yeah, Holly. She volunteered to help me with fine-tunning my driving skills. Though, the type of tests she puts me through are pretty odd. Memorizing fruit? Doing math? And then there's the thing she's got me doing at the moment...
"Okay, just like I explained before, pick up these hearts and drop them off at their correct destinations. You can't stop, either. You gotta throw them out as you pass by." she said.
What the hell is up with that? I gotta admit, though, they do help improve my skills. But still, these tasks are ridiculous. That's not even the end of it, either. Holly would scream out letters when I finish a test.
"A!!!" she shouted as I just finished the current task.
Whew, I was afraid I would get anything lower than an A, which is an absolute nightmare. One time, I manage to get a B, which I thought was fine, but Holly didn't think so. As I crossed the finish line, I started to do a power slide, then Holly leaped at me, grabbed my neck, and started shaking it violently. Since I couldn't tell where the hell I was turning due to all the shaking, I ended up running over the fat checkered flag dude that looked like Johnny Turbo. Heh, he always brightend my day, him and his fat cock. May he rest in peace.
"Let's try this one more time" said Holly, interrupting my thinking. "I'm sure you can manage a triple AAA on your next try!!"
Seriously, they're just friggin letters!! She got fired from Seasame Street because of this! Got into a fight with a little kid because they made him hold the letter and she ended up slicing off a muppet's head in the process!
"Fine." I mumbled "One more try, then we're done for the day."
So I did the stupid task again, and I was actually doing really well, I could get a triple AAA and avoid the wrath of Holly. But as I reached the final stretch of this task, in Metropolis, I spotted something horrible. Jennifer and Wolf was having lunch in an outdoor cafe!! Could it be? Jennifer was leaving me to cockfight with Wolf?!
"That bitch!!" I screamed while crashing into the cafe, running over at least two or three people.
"You crazy cracker!!' Holly shouted.
By the time I came to a complete stop, Wolf and Jennifer were already running and both hopped into his Enzo Ferrai. After backing out of the cafe, they pretty much exited the city.
"You can't get away from me!!" I exclaimed.
Holly tried to get out of the car, but I slammed on the accelerator before she could. She then started to shake my head violently, again, but it didn't work. Even with all that shaking, I was able to drive perfectly well. I was too focused on catching up with that car.
"Wow, your tests really do help! I can still race pretty damn good with all these distractions!" I shouted.
"Kiss my ass, you crazy son of a bitch!!" she replied while still shaking my head.
After tearing through three routes, I finally caught up with them in the Alphine region. The two of them seriously thought they lost me. So, of course, they were really surprised to see me when I slammed into their car and drove them off the road. When our cars came to a stop, I hopped out, took off my pants, and stabbed holes into their tires with my ANNIHILATOR. I didn't want them to drive off again like at the cafe. When I finished, Jennifer and Wolf were out and running. Holly was passed out in her car at this point. I managed to catch up to Jennifer and deliver an uppercut with my wang that knocked her unconscious.
"You're next, Wolf!!" I scream with a mighty roar.
My cock was feeling the rage, too. There were veins popping up all over it and my pubic hair became as sharp as a porcupine. Oh, yeah, it was definitely feeling the rage.
Wolf was a fast runner, but I was able to slowly close in on him every yard. He ran towards some hot-aired balloon event, hopped into one of the balloons, and flew off. He got away from me at that moment..... I became so angry that I wasn't able to exact revenge, that this incredible energy filled up in my body. Suddenly, my penis started growing in length. And in over the course of two or three seconds, it grew as much as 30 or 40 feet!! Long enough to smack Wolf's balloon!!
"You have met your match, Wolf!!" I screamed with such intensity. "Eat my cock and die!!"
I swung the giant cock at the balloon, cutting it in half. Wolf spilled right out of it and fell to his death.
"You have got to be the craziest,funkiest bastard I've ever met." said Holly, who just regained consciousness.
At that point, I clinched my wang and shouted "I AM THE ULTIMATE COCKFIGHTER!!"
The End.