Normally, when you think of Magneto, you think of this menacing, manly, super-awesome mutant who'll most likely kick the crap out of anyone who gets in his way. Unfortunately for me, one of my early experiences with seeing Magneto in action was from an episode of the 70s Fantastic Four series. At the time, I didn't even know it was him. I figured he was some idiot that was fucking around with the FF. Rewatching the episode again in recent years, however.... well, he's still an idiot fucking around with the FF. You think I'm making this up? Well, just see for yourself. Sorry for the slightly messed up pictures, though, my VHS copy is old.
As the episode begins, you'll witness a purple piece of crap floating through some neighborhood. Turns out, it's Magneto's car. Why does he need one? Beats me. I guess he thinks it looks cool or something. Anyway, he decides to stop at a gas station so he can ask for directions to where the Fantastic Four are living. Are you kidding me? Everybody knows where the hell they live, yet, a supposedly smart and powerful being doesn't know. Some supervillian. So, after speaking to some guy there, he gets pissed off because of some silly argument about gas, and then proceeds to destroy the place. He also throws away a truck. Clearly, the guy is freaked out about this.
Seconds later, after his incident (bitchfest) at the gas station, we see him flying through the city. This doesn't last long, however. As the episode gets back from its commerical break, for some insane reason, Magneto decides to follow traffic laws. What's even more insane is that, after he spots the Baxter Building, he whines about being stuck in traffic and flies off. What the hell, man, make up your mind. Once he actually gets to the building, and parks in front of it, some guy points out the fact that he's in a no parking zone. Infuriated by this, Magneto decides to use his powers to knock down the sign and run over it. Evil bastard.
Unbeknownst to the absurdity outside, Reed plays some chest (or checkers, whatever) with H.E.R.B.I.E., Ben's lifting weights, and Sue is doing something stupid. That all changes, of course, when Reed gets informed over the intercom that Magneto is waiting for him in the lobby. The funniest shit ever happens next: Reed doesn't know who he is and tells the guy to tell Magneto he's busy. What you get is this scene, pretty much telling Magneto to buzz off. Of course, Magneto gets pissed off again and commands the elevator to take him to their floor.
Magneto eventually makes his way up and Reed still doesn't care about the guy. At that point, Magneto starts showing off his powers to the group by..... OPENING A WINDOW!! Well, he does other things like lifting cars and a mailbox, and acts disturbingly happy about it. After finishing doing stupid crap, Magneto tells the group that he's gonna be the new leader of the Fantastic Four (just think about that for a second...). At this point, Ben offers to clobber the guy, but Reed had something else in mind. He decides to test Magneto in a fight. Where is this epic battle gonna take place? The workout room, duh. So, once they get in, Magneto already gets started by throwing cabinets, weights, and barbells at Reed. Being Mr. Fantastic, he manages to dodge all this dangerous crap. How does he counterattack? Lasso, bitches. Magneto wasn't having any of it, however. He throws Reed to the ground, ties him up with metal rope (I guess), and declares himself the new leader of the Fantastic Four.
What dastardly deeds will the Fantastic Four do now that the sinister Magneto is in charge of the group?
Relax at the table and sip some tea, of course. Well, Ben and H.E.R.B.I.E. get into a verbal smackdown that almost turns into an actual fist fight, until Magneto enters the room and tells them to shut up. He then announces to the group that a bank is going to be robbed that night, and that's when we get this funny, little smartass moment from Ben:
After he makes his point, Reed tells him to give Magneto a chance. Of course, everyone flips out because of the way he's acting, and H.E.R.B.I.E. and Ben get into a fight, again. After all of that is over with, Magneto goes on with his plan. He tells the group that they'll get to the bank first, sneak inside, take the money, hide it, and when the bank robbers come, they're capture them and save the day. Magneto then says his plan is great and only he could come up with such a brilliant one. Everyone thinks he's crazy, but Reed manages to get everyone to go with his plan anyway. As Magneto makes his way down to the lobby in the elevator, the other person with him makes fun of his outfit. Of course, we all know by now that the great and smart Magneto gets pissed off, and then does the most bastardly thing he does in the whole episode: twists the guy's umbrella. The guy runs off, and Magneto laughs his ass off as a freaked out woman watches in the background.
A little bit later, they all meet up at the bank, and one of the most messed up moments happens next. Since there's a security guard at the entrance, Magneto tells Sue to use her powers to get him away. Well, she does... first, by turning the guy's hat invisible, then his hand, his legs, and eventually, his whole body, which makes him run off. What makes this so fucked up is that you never see the guy again (no pun), so basically, this poor guy is probably running around invisible for the rest of his life. Hell, he probably got hit by a car. Anyway, Magneto and the FF get inside the bank and get all the money out. Once all of the loot is inside Magneto's stupid looking car, he makes up some halfass excuse about going off by himself and basically flies away. Everyone is pissed, obviously. Except fot Reed, who tells everyone to get back to the Baxter Building. Once back there, he then explains that he was just fucking around with Magneto the whole time, making him believe he was in charge. Afterwards, they go after Magneto (Reed had H.E.R.B.I.E. track him with some sort of super telescope).
Once they find Magneto, Reed wants to take him on himself. Magneto then goes through almost the exact routine he did in the workout room: throwing objects and other crap. Reed, however, mocks his powers this time in the process. At that point, Magneto attempts to tie him up again, this time with railroad tracks, but Reed was able to easily slip out of it, being stretchy and all. Reed decides to do something different this time: he pulls out a gun and points it at him. Magneto, thinking this is the stupidest thing ever, makes fun of Reed, and tells him he's gonna use the gun against him. However, when he tries to take control of the gun with his magnetic powers, nothing happens, and what follows is a series of hilarious looks from Magneto:
Yes, as you can tell from the last shot, Magneto surrenders. The police come and arrest him, but before he gets taken away, Magneto wants to know how he took his powers away (I'm not making this up, he actually believed Reed took away his powers somehow). Reed gives him an answer, and Magneto's reaction to it is priceless:
Afterwards, Reed explains more about how he did it. He tells Magneto that it's a wooden gun, Which is an extremely stupid thing for Reed to have said to him, considering Magneto could use his powers to escape or beat the crap out of everyone. Luckily, Magneto is so out of it at this point and gets into the police car. So, the day is saved, Reed and Sue go disco dancing (again, not making this up), and Ben is stuck with H.E.R.B.I.E..
Now let's go over the list of things that made Magneto an idiot in this episode:
-Asks for directions to the Baxter Building.
-Gets stuck in traffic when he was flying in the sky minutes ago.
-Goes through the trouble of becoming the leader of the Fantastic Four so he can rob a bank.
-Thinks that was actually a brilliant plan.
-Thought that he actually got away with that stupid plan.
-Couldn't figure out that a gun wasn't made out of metal.
-Doesn't use his powers AFTER he finds out it was a wooden gun, and gets taken away by the police.
Yup, Magneto is an idiot.
